Reclaiming My Body: Pole Dancing Through Chronic Illness
There’s a unique and special kind of magic that can be found in our pole studios. Between
the beats of the music, the enthusiastic cheers of encouragement, and the clack of heels on
the floor, it can feel as though the outside world melts away. As we glide and fly, flip and flow
and immerse ourselves into our beautiful pole dance world, we can forget our troubles and
stresses for an hour or two and simply enjoy movement, strength and community.
But what happens when your body doesn’t always cooperate with that magic?
Author - Lottie 'Adore' Sanders| Date - 13 June 2025
Dancing Through the Unseen:
For me, pole has been a lifeline, a creative outlet, and a wonderful career, but it’s also been a journey shaped by chronic pain and fatigue. I live with endometriosis, and some days, just getting through a training session feels like a quiet victory.
I’ve been pole dancing for about seven years now, teaching in my beautiful studio home Pure-Studios in Hereford, and traveling to share workshops and performances. Pole is a huge part of my life, but also, so is managing a condition that often operates invisibly. It’s not always easy to reconcile the two, and that’s exactly why Pole Junkie have invited me on their blog to share my journey and perspective as a pole dancer with chronic illness.
The Reality Beneath the Surface:
So, what is endometriosis?
Endometriosis is a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows in places it shouldn’t, like on the ovaries, fallopian tubes, or other areas in the pelvis. It can cause a lot of pain, fatigue, and other symptoms that don’t always show on the outside, but can really impact daily life - both in my pole dancer world and my normal day-to-day schedule.
Much like many chronic illnesses, the list of symptoms doesn’t quite do my reality justice. On the outside, I look totally normal. But on the inside, even getting out of bed to start my regular schedule can feel like I’m wading through thick, unrelenting treacle.
Finding my Path:
Existing as someone with chronic pain and fatigue is honestly a little hard to put into words, purely because of the sheer scale of unpredictability. Some days are fine, and totally ‘normal’, others may start out well and end in a hot water bottle and a lie down in a dark room, and some can begin with a teaser of symptoms that makes me feel anxious about it being a bad day, for everything to pan out okay. There is no linear path, and every time I think I might be settling into some kind of pattern or I ponder if a certain symptom is a precursor to everything going downhill, my body will prove me totally and irrevocably wrong.
So, how did someone who has days where getting up from the sofa to make a cup of peppermint tea can feel like a battle of the ages, wind up hanging upside down on a pole for fun? Well, I wanted something different. I needed a way to express myself, and I yearned for a space to call my own where I could explore the movement I so desperately needed.
Power Through Movement:
Dancing isn’t just for the body, it’s for the mind and soul too. What I truly love so much about pole dancing is the fact it’s always waiting for me - I can have days where I head to the studio with my favourite teeny tiny pole set and try my hands at some epic tricks, and I can have days where I wear my baggiest tee and sweatpants combo, and simply gently flow in the way I need to. There’s also days where there is no way I’d go anywhere near the studio. I don’t feel the pressure to have to be any one type of pole dancer - who I am on that day is enough.
Of course, it isn’t always easy, and I’ve had to push myself too far once or twice to learn my limitations. For me, pole is about pacing myself and adjusting expectations - but don’t get me wrong, that adjustment goes both ways. Despite what can feel like a lot of doom and gloom as a chronically ill person, I’ve also achieved the most incredible things on the pole despite sometimes feeling physically and mentally dulled.
Resilience in Motion:
My skills on the pole are a constant reminder of what I can do despite adversity, and even when it can feel like my body betrays me on a semi-regular basis, it’s proof that my body creates magic, too. Much like my symptoms, my pole journey hasn’t been linear (honestly, who’s has), but if I’ve learnt one thing in these seven years, it’s this. Finding your power in pole, and nourishing yourself through movement isn’t about pushing through your limits, it’s about reclaiming agency and autonomy, it’s about tuning into your capabilities and choosing to do what serves you that day.
From a self-image perspective, chronic illness isn’t exactly conducive to a great relationship with your body. Pole has been a lifeline for me, and my self esteem. I think it’s important to know that you don’t have to love every single aspect of yourself, and there is no obligation to smile through the pain - it’s okay to be pretty mad about your symptoms. But what pole has given me is a focus on what my body can do, rather than how it looks, and it’s helped me reach a certain level of body neutrality.
With so many branches of pole to explore, I’ve seen my body do amazing things. I’ve watched myself explore my sensuality in a heels class, and I have also amazed myself watching a video back of a cool trick that I’ve nailed. Almost as though I’m experiencing an out of body sensation, as I watch these incredible things happen, I can’t help but grow a respect and compassion for my body, too. Pole has helped me to realise that I am multifaceted and that even in those darker moments, I have an excess of brighter moments to be proud of.
Growing in Confidence, Not Just Strength:
Another amazing thing that’s happened since I’ve immersed myself in the pole world, is just how much my confidence has grown. It’s not just physical, either. Sure, the fact I’m happy to throw myself around a metal pole in a teeny tiny pole outfit is something I couldn’t have imagined a decade ago - but it’s also emotional confidence. I am braver, I share my thoughts and emotions with more ease, expressing myself feels more free. With the beautiful pole community behind me, both within my studio home and with friends all over the world, a genuine sense of self-assurance is something that’s really come to life within me. Once, it would’ve been unimaginable to put all my thoughts and fears about chronic illness onto paper for publication - and here I am doing just that.
The Light is Always There:
So, what would I tell others who have come to this blog to find out a little more about chronic illness and pole, or to educate themselves better on what we go through? You don’t have to look, or feel, a certain way in order to belong as a pole dancer. You aren’t required to be anything but yourself. Explore the movement that makes you feel more like yourself, embrace yourself in wholeness and be proud of what you can do on a day to day basis - especially if that is ever-changing. You are more powerful than you even realise, and on some days, the bravest thing you can do is to take a step back and rest, and know that pole will be waiting for you with open arms.
As I poured my heart into this blog post, my dream perspective to share was that whilst there is a balance between the realities of chronic illness and pole, I also wanted to provide that assurance to anyone reading that there is also an excess of light and hopefulness to be had, too. Pole dancing won’t cure your chronic illness, but what it can provide is a source of joy, connection, and healing (even if that isn’t in the transitional sense). Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story, and if you’re struggling with chronic illness, navigating pain and fatigue, or even just on a journey to embracing your body with a little more kindness - know you aren’t alone.
